How to Catch a Baboon.

 How do you catch a Baboon?

First of all, try catch a porcupine.

How do you catch a porcupine?

You catch a porcupine by putting apples and pumpkin in a walk in cage.

What is a walk in cage?

It’s a big box (in the case of porcupines) with a door that falls down when the porcupine stands on the trigger and eats its apples and pumpkin.

Why catch a porcupine?

They eat roots. Specifically they eat the roots of our Lucerne (a forage crop fed to horses, sheet, cattle etc) thereby killing the plants. Since Lucerne has made us more money than tourism this year (we are just getting started after all!) we value our Lucerne. Porcupines need to be moved to the hills. At least till tourism catches up with Lucerne, then Porcupines can eat all the Lucerne they want.

Where do you catch a porcupine?

In a Lucerne field of course!

When do you catch a porcupine?

At night.

Which porcupines do you catch?

Only the ones that eat the Lucerne.

What’s this all got to do with catching a baboon?

Glad you asked. Well, one day I was heading out to the Lucerne field to check the walk in trap for porcupines. Instead I found a very frantic young male baboon. You see, they eat Lucerne, Apples and Pumpkin too. So he had wandered into the trap early in the morning. Problem for him and a problem for me. See, baboons have large teeth. The kind that would put Dracula to shame. This all leads to the next question.

Baboons eating lucerne, in the snow

What do you do with a baboon once you’ve caught it?

Um. That was my dilemma. Even just getting close to the cage he was trying to grab me and eat my boot. So how do I open the door and not get attacked by an enraged baboon? Well, baboons are intelligent. Very intelligent. All this time he had been rocking the cage, looking everywhere in it, trying to find a way out. So what I did was show him how to open the cage door by opening it a little and then closing it when he tried to make a dash for vengeance. Then I made my way to safety and he let himself out. Simple.

A Free Baboon